On the Eve of 40 Weeks (correction only 39 weeks)
It is 10:00pm on the eve of being pregnant going into week 40(corrections only week 39...). Tonight James, Stella, and I went out for pizza in hopes of starting to move along baby a little sooner. I have never in my life put red chili flakes on a pizza but tonight I did. I am so eager and ready to meet our son! I am also so over being pregnant!
It's funny how different the end of this pregnancy has been compared to Stella's. At the end of Stella's pregnancy I felt all of the feelings above- eager, ready, over being pregnant! This time I strongly feel all that plus a bit of sadness, guilt, and largely conflicted. I am so excited to grow our family and allow Stella to have a best friend. But I never imagined how guilty I would feel about it as well. It's just been us- the three of us- for two years. Stella has been our center of attention, our world, our everything and it makes me feel guilty that for the next few months she will get a little less attention, a little less of Mommy, and a little less of Daddy. {Or maybe it will not be a little less but a little different.}
Unlike most mom's I have been so privileged to get to spend the last month at home with Stella because school was out and I'm taking next year off so I haven't had any other obligations than to spend time with her, get ready for baby, and manage our household. I'll be completely honest it hasn't exactly been the easiest month. Taking care of a nearly two year old in 100+ degree weather when you are 9 months pregnant is HARD. Not to mention the fact that Stella has now started to test her independence and limits with us (but me especially). I keep thinking to myself though that this feels hard now but in a month or two when she is actually two and I've also got a newborn to take care of this will feel like a breeze. But for now, it's been an interesting month.
Things were mostly just a bit rough at nap time but besides that we've had a lot of fun...
-We went to Tahoe for a little mini vacation with my sister, brother's girlfriend, and my niece. We stayed at my Uncle's condo and enjoyed the beach and just simply relaxing in cooler weather.
-We went to the library several times for story time and play time. I found out this is something Stella really enjoys. Though it takes her a bit to warm up to everything I think once we start going more often she will start to jump right in.
-We checked out farmer's markets, Fountain's First Fridays, Family Nights and did lots of shopping.
-We have watched Tangled (well parts of it) nearly every. single. day. She loves that movie (just like her TT).
-We have had play dates with cousins.
-We watched big fireworks and did little fireworks, celebrating America.
-We have gone swimming several times and even bought a small pool to enjoy in our backyard!
So even though I am taking next year off to get to spend more time with both my babies I know that Stella will always have had this "little bit more" with me than her sibling(s). I feel guilty that she won't be the only child, center of attention at all times anymore but thrilled that she gets to enjoy all of the future with her little brother (and maybe other siblings in the future-we'll see).
With one week left until baby boy's estimated due date here is (likely) the last update I will write:
It's funny how different the end of this pregnancy has been compared to Stella's. At the end of Stella's pregnancy I felt all of the feelings above- eager, ready, over being pregnant! This time I strongly feel all that plus a bit of sadness, guilt, and largely conflicted. I am so excited to grow our family and allow Stella to have a best friend. But I never imagined how guilty I would feel about it as well. It's just been us- the three of us- for two years. Stella has been our center of attention, our world, our everything and it makes me feel guilty that for the next few months she will get a little less attention, a little less of Mommy, and a little less of Daddy. {Or maybe it will not be a little less but a little different.}
Unlike most mom's I have been so privileged to get to spend the last month at home with Stella because school was out and I'm taking next year off so I haven't had any other obligations than to spend time with her, get ready for baby, and manage our household. I'll be completely honest it hasn't exactly been the easiest month. Taking care of a nearly two year old in 100+ degree weather when you are 9 months pregnant is HARD. Not to mention the fact that Stella has now started to test her independence and limits with us (but me especially). I keep thinking to myself though that this feels hard now but in a month or two when she is actually two and I've also got a newborn to take care of this will feel like a breeze. But for now, it's been an interesting month.
Things were mostly just a bit rough at nap time but besides that we've had a lot of fun...
-We went to Tahoe for a little mini vacation with my sister, brother's girlfriend, and my niece. We stayed at my Uncle's condo and enjoyed the beach and just simply relaxing in cooler weather.
-We went to the library several times for story time and play time. I found out this is something Stella really enjoys. Though it takes her a bit to warm up to everything I think once we start going more often she will start to jump right in.
-We checked out farmer's markets, Fountain's First Fridays, Family Nights and did lots of shopping.
-We have watched Tangled (well parts of it) nearly every. single. day. She loves that movie (just like her TT).
-We have had play dates with cousins.
-We watched big fireworks and did little fireworks, celebrating America.
-We have gone swimming several times and even bought a small pool to enjoy in our backyard!
So even though I am taking next year off to get to spend more time with both my babies I know that Stella will always have had this "little bit more" with me than her sibling(s). I feel guilty that she won't be the only child, center of attention at all times anymore but thrilled that she gets to enjoy all of the future with her little brother (and maybe other siblings in the future-we'll see).
With one week left until baby boy's estimated due date here is (likely) the last update I will write:
Gender: Boy
Weight gain: I think like 35 lbs or around there.
Maternity clothes: yes and so over them, I can't wait to shop for regular, non-work clothes soon!
Stretch marks: none yet...James asked me yesterday "Why don't you get stretch marks?" I said "I don't know but it's really lucky!"
Belly button in or out: Flattened out still
Sleep: Never in my life have I been one to stay up late, lately I can't fall asleep until around midnight and then get horrible sleep through the night- but I'm sure this will be a breeze in a couple weeks waking up every 2 hours!
Best moment this week: Having the Dr. tell me that I am already 3-3.5cm dilated and 40-50% effaced!!
Worst moment this week: Feeling a little down today because -hormones -sister is in Sweden -body issues -tired AF -busy family and friends
Miss anything: Fitting into clothing that is actually cute and feeling good about myself
Movement: Lots of movement everyday!
Cravings: Still on an ice cream every day kick lol
Queasy or sick: Neither finally!
Looking forward to: MEETING BABY BOY ASAP!
Not looking forward to: trying to figure out how in the world I am going to manage having a two year old and a newborn- I know, I know, millions of moms do it- it's just scary!
Well next time I write will probably be with a new baby, wish me luck and happy pushing! I will definitely come back with lots and lots of pictures!
Well next time I write will probably be with a new baby, wish me luck and happy pushing! I will definitely come back with lots and lots of pictures!
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